Spring is a bit of a bittersweet time for me every year. When the sun comes out, so does any brain cell willing to do work. Summer is right around the corner, and things just seem to drag–even in the quick Princeton semesters. However, that ‘summer right around the corner’ thought is not always an exciting one. With summer comes the prospect of internships, and perhaps more pressing: the lack of thereof. In a previous post, I discussed tips for applying to internships, but by now, you may have already heard back. If you have heard back and the email made your heart sink to your stomach, this post is for you. I’m here to remind you that internship rejections are not the end of the world.
But sometimes, it may feel like it. Even as a sophomore, I have not gotten used to the sting of that rejection email, and honestly, this applies to any rejection I receive in real life, whether it’s a slightly less than acceptable grade on an exam, or a friendship falling flat. The saying rejection is redirection is true. Every rejection is meant to push us to something different, make us look towards something you perhaps overlooked on your first round. This is especially important when you’re trying something new. You really don’t know what to prioritize; you’re just making an educated guess on what the internship coordinator wants or how the exam will end up testing you. Sometimes, it’s hard to find guidance on internship applications and anything in life, really. We are our best teachers, so no matter how many information sessions you go to, you may not always get something right the first time. You have to get it wrong first, then teach yourself, so you can get it right the second time, or maybe even the third time, or even the fourth.
In the heat of the moment, however, these words slip out of our minds, and we are left with the rubble of our hard work at our feet and a growing worm of inadequacy in our heads. This is the price of aiming high, but I’m going to give you a few tips to help you get up as quickly as possible from these situations. Without further ado, here are a few tips on how to stay sane after rejection.
Immediately after it, stay busy. Take your mind off of it. We are not robots; we have emotions, and quite frankly, we will dramatize the situation when we are still in the heat of it. If you can, get your mind off of it, either with work or while hanging out with friends. Get a quick boost of adrenaline, just to keep your mind off of it, so you can revisit it when your head is clearer.
Talk to someone about it; rant if you must. Good friends will always lend a listening ear and university resources are available to students processing challenging news.
Either open the email (or however you’re receiving your results) right before you sleep, or at the beginning of the day, when you wake up. The former is useful for those who believe in ‘sleeping it off’ and waking up to figure it out. The latter is for those who want to try the keeping busy option from Tip 1, and having a whole day’s events to do so.
This one is a long-term tip. Internalize the positive affirmations. Immediately after rejection, our first thoughts are: I’m not doing good enough; I’m not smart enough. If you constantly remind yourself that you are doing good enough, you are smart enough, those thoughts will arise on their own accord to defend you against the critic within you. You have to strengthen the voice of those positive affirmations, and the only way to do so is by practice. Keep practicing. Whether it’s just saying it in your head while filling out an application, or writing it down on a piece of paper, strengthening that voice within will come in handy on the darker days. Finally, give yourself some wallow time. It’s okay to be a little down. Once again, we’re not robots. You can mourn the opportunity for just a little bit.
Lastly, reflect and reassess on the sadness. Once the sadness becomes too much, it’s time to reflect on what’s actually making you sad. Sometimes, it’s not the loss of the opportunity itself; it could be the feeling of inadequacy that you’ve internalized. You may have built all your worth on this internship process, and that could be a sign of you tying your worth to something other than yourself. If this is so, you should always know that your worth is within you, not within an internship application. Take a step back and reassess what’s truly upsetting you, so you can solve the root of the issue in whatever way you see fit.
I hope these tips were helpful, and ultimately, I hope this post shows you that you are never alone when struggling with and accepting rejection. It’s hard to give advice on emotional things because we all feel things so differently, but I hope some things resonated with you in one way or the other. Good luck with internship application season!
– Haya Elamir, Natural Sciences Correspondent
